11-03-2010
November 1st was the day of transfer calls. It also happened to be my little mish anniversary– the first! What a great day. That morning we were at the gym with our zone– people are playin soccer and making predictions and– it was intense.
I wanted to stay in my area. I loved these people and I wasn’t ready to give them up.
I also wanted to keep my Sister Mackley. She is struggling with a few things right now and for a billion reasons I just want someone to love and help her and I wanted that person to be ME.
The thing is, I’d have to take a lot of the reigns if it were to be just me and her and even if I could handle that, we are both so new. How would we answer all of our questions? How could I keep both Sister Mackley and my people in this area?
Sister Clark! That’s how!
Sister Clark was Sister Griffith’s comp in the MTC. This is her last transfer. I found out she was comin to trio with us and I can’t think of a better answer to life. People ask me sometimes if being in a trio is hard. They seem to think so but I just feel lucky. In the MTC, I asked God to teach me how to be humble and bold at the same time. He sent me one companion for each so no complaints here!
Sister Griffiths is a legend. I am so lucky to have learned from her. When I got to California, I thought I needed to be analyzed, criticized, and re-made. Sister Griffiths didn’t do that. (Thank goodness). Instead she gave me things to do and then trusted me to do them. [Teach the Book of Mormon. Make a chastity lesson. What do you want to work on? You grab the peanut butter and I’ll get the pudding. Tell me what you’re thinking.] The trust part is what made such a difference. She didn’t micromanage how I did things– just asked me to do them and let me figure out how. She did it so well that I never even felt like I was being asked. This explanation is very small and what she did was so big. How can I explain? Sister Griffiths let me grow into myself as a missionary. She was my friend (ok, and also my idol) while she did it. She made it HALARIOUS. It was fun. Really? My first transfer was fun? This is NOT what I expected, but it’s a big part of what I needed. I work hard- I am close to the spirit and I do not need to be boot camped into submission, though I often do that to myself. Sister Griffiths taught me about balance. “Ministry over administry”. If Sister Mackley is crying and we have 5 minutes til we’re supposed to be out of the house, we need to take off our watches and talk. If it’s 2 seconds til curfew and our investigator is having a powerful moment with the spirit, our curfew’s gonna get the shaft. Of course I would do these things in regular life, but it’s hard to know what’s okay for mission life. It’s hard to know because mission life has a different purpose and a different expectation. Mission life has a handbook and 3 zillion salvations attached. I needed Sister Griffiths so figure out how to adjust to that. I needed her so I could ask questions, feel validated, grow, laugh, BREATHE… so I could decipher which of my expectations were oppressing me and then let them go like floaty balloons. Gone. Shrinkin away every second. I am confident that she gave me the freedom and guidance I needed to step towards the missionary I am supposed to be. To recognize the talents I have and learned to give myself a break for the ones I don’t have. Not that I don’t need to improve but that I don’t need to feel guilty about needing to improve! And that I need to be excited about all the things I am good at– to utilize them instead of thinkin they are no big deal. This woman. I just love her. I’m shocked that a trainer could be so tailored to me. That this kind of answer-embodied-in-a-person existed when I stepped off the plane and into the valley. I feel so lucky and so remembered by the Lord.
I think this upcoming transfer will be a time to prove myself. I need something else now. There are a few weaknesses I’ve been prompted to work on next– all of which seem to be Sister Clark’s strengths. If we were in real life, without a handbook and 3 zillion salvations attached to every choice, I would stick with Sister Griffiths for life. But I’m on a mission and I need some Clark legend now. Because Sister Clark is a legend too. I can tell she is going to work me to the bone. Bring it on. We’ve had one day together and it was SO GOOD.
I have so much more to say! Just like every day of my life.
See you next week!
Love, Sister Brown
I am Sister Brown. 