August 08, 2011
Hey Family that I love!
I had a really great transformation this week. I received some very personal, very direct revelation from God. He knows how to speak to me in a way I will understand. Sometimes I open up a prayer and then get my journ and write to Him. I ask Him to listen as if I were praying out loud. When I get to a part where I have a question—I write about that too– and then I wait. I pay attention to the thoughts and feelings the spirit puts in my heart and my mind. I write them all out and read them over the next few days or weeks until things start to connect. This week they connected right away. At one point I felt I should open my scriptures for the answer. I’ve never done that before. I opened to two different pages—both containing very direct answers. They were not easy to read and will be hard to follow—but I’m doing pretty good so far. I’m glad to have some answers for some of my doubts and struggles these days.
That night I got a blessing to help me with my weird viral exhaustion. And my spiritual exhaustion. It was so helpful. God said a lot of the same things to me that he had earlier as I wrote. But the Elder that gave me the blessing didn’t know anything about the impressions I’d already received. I know blessings are words from God, not Elders or Dads or other priesthood holders. You can’t explain that kind of phenomenon any other way.
In my blessing God asked me to be excited. Excited to wake up. Excited to study. Excited to find and teach. That’s who I am, remember? I’m the excited one. He knows that about me. I’ve been so tired lately that a lot of my enthusiasm was drained and I was distanced from that part of me. But I loved this advice and I’ve had a lot of success following it. I love being excited. It’s how I get through.
We had interviews with President the next day and that really helped me:
“Sister Martin thinks I should recover by going at a moderate pace. My Zone Leaders think so too. What does that mean? I don’t get the whole moderate pace thing,” I asked him.
“You go hard Sister Brown. Don’t worry about being moderate. You do your Sister Brown thing and you just work your heart out. That’s what you do and it’s what you need,” he said.
Oh yeah, this man is inspired. Love him.
The next day was Saturday. We go knocking for two hours every Saturday afternoon during the Blitz. Doesn’t that sound intense. BLITZ! A Blitz is where all the full-time missionaries in the stake meet at a ward building. Members from that ward come too. Each full-time missionary grabs a member and they go knock in those ward boundaries for two hours. This week it was our ward’s turn. We had three times as many members as any of the other ward blitzes so far. Because our ward is pumped. Oh yeahhh. We had 13 companionships out knocking in our area at the same time. Four of the young men that have been coming to lessons with us came to the Blitz—so they got to learn how to knock doors before their missions. A lot of women from the Relief Society came too. They are so brave! I’m so proud of them. At the end of the two hours we all met back at our ward building and everyone gave us the addresses of the people who wanted to learn more. We got twenty names total! 5 from M St.
I took my member to M St because when Sister New was here, we prayed over the map and she felt we should go to M St. But we had about 15 minutes that day and it was a weekday afternoon—so we only got to talk to a few people. So last Saturday afternoon I took my member back there and we knocked the whole thing. We made 5 return appointments on M St. That’s a miracle. I love Sister New. I’m going to write her a letter about it.
Last night I was explaining some ASL to one of the members here. Afterwards I wrote in my journal, big letter: I MISS SING LANGUAGE. Today we were at the grocery store and I couldn’t find the shoppin buggies. I asked one of the employees and she motioned to her ears to let me know she was deaf. She was deaf! So we signed about grocery carts and it made my day. I floated through the rest of the store. I really hope I get to serve at the deaf branch in Juniper at some point. Heavenly Father knows I want to so I know He’ll send me there unless there’s bigger miracles waiting somewhere else for the rest of my mission.
Corey I’m so happy you learned some signs! I didn’t think about how that would be so great for you because you wouldn’t have your stutter holding you back. Did you even know that I studied ASL in college? Did you sign Spanish sign language?
Oh man remember when I e-mailed Lacey about getting her patriarchal blessing? I’ve been wondering ever since whether or not she decided to get it. I’m so glad! I want to hear all about it. (See the PS)
I’m sad to miss Lacey going off to college. This will be the hardest thing for me to miss while I’m on my mission. Hands down. I remember I always wanted her to come out to Utah and be with me. And she’d say “There’s too many rules! And you’ll probably be married!” And I’d say “I probably won’t be married. And if I am I’ll still hang out with you all the time… and anyway JUST COME! YOU HAVE TO COME!” I want to watch her do it! I just love her! I’m comin home to you Laceface! You’ll be great out there!
And yes I’m comin to the Outer Banks next Summer!
Happy Anniversh Sabrina and David!