My Savior-My Future-My Purpose

September 19, 2011

I’m in the computer lab at our apt complex. (Because our apt complex has a pool and a gym and a computer lab! What?! Nicer than any of my college apartments. There is no such thing as a cheap place in Valencia. I know because when I first got here I searched high and low for a slum to go knock doors in. None of those. Nope. Everything I learn about the cost of living in Valencia, or California in general, makes me nauseous.) Anyway so they always have the radio playin in here and I just want to dance! I have this problem everywhere with public music. The grocery store. The mall. I probably have zero moves left, but it’d be nice to bust one. I just wanted to say that.

Anyway, on to something meaningful. Much of my e-mail time has been dedicated to my little Lacey fresh inside of college. So this will be a short one.

Great things are still happening here.

We’ve got six new investigators from the blitz.

Three from member referrals. One from ten billion hours of service.

Yesterday as we were fasting for a few things, I received some intense revelation for one of our investigators, T-shirt. Remember him? I wrote it down, prayed over it until I knew it was right, and called him. Okay so I texted him and his wife twice and then I called. I just had to tell him the things that God told me to tell him! I was goin nuts!

“I’m going psycho over here Sister Baum!” I said, waiting for them to call us back.

“I have ten billion emotions and I NEED a p-day!

But first I need to do some missionary work and testify!

I need to testify to this stiffnecked man that I love!

Ahhhhhhhhh!”

He ended up being our last appt of the night. We went over and I read him the things I wrote down and committed him to some things that are going to require a lot of faith. The things I felt were something along these lines:

The timing of his conversion is really important. God has a specific path for him, much of which he has already traversed without realizing. He is at a crucial point in that path. A point where he can recognize and acknowledge God in new and crucial ways. If he does not choose to receive the knowledge God is trying to send him, he will miss out on a divine opportunity. Certain eternal blessings will be compromised. His ability to affect and change the world through those blessings will be lost. God may prepare another path for him, and likely will, but in the time it takes for Heavenly Father to prepare his heart for another chance, the opportunity for those specific blessings will be lost.

I was able to write it out very specifically and I knew they weren’t my words. He was shocked. So was I. And Sister Baum backed me up all the way because she loves me and is a miracle companion.

But oh man we couldn’t apologize. We knew it was what God wanted him to know. It was such a meaningful experience. I wanted to keep a copy of the things I wrote for him in my journal– but as I went to copy it down I felt it was wrong. These words were sacred and they were him. Dictation from the spirit.

I love being a missionary. I can’t believe the miracles I am able to witness.

I’ve had some powerful experiences with the spirit this week as it has testified to me many truths about my Savior, my future, and my purpose now. I could not write them out as comprehensively as I was able to understand them. I’ve missed that level of divine comprehension.

About 70 missionaries were in attendance at our zone conference with Elder Golden, a general authority 70. I was one of 4 missionaries picked to be interviewed by him. It was intense.

My mission has healed me and continues to heal me. I was so different before– like one of those well-intentioned 10 virgins who, in the end, was too foolish to have her oil lamp prepared.

Too wild. Too “free.”

My mission has taught me true freedom.

I am more whole, focused, and prepared than I have ever been.

I love my Heavenly Father. I know he is mindful of me and has a plan for me. I know that through my experiences, his works have been made manifest in me and to me. He is the Father of my spirit.

I love you! Can’t wait to hear from you!

Sister Brown