October 23, 2011
I love emailing.
I love it.
I’m antsy all p-day til I get myself in this computer chair. (And yes Mom my bum is dang sore from my bike.)
First I have Corey who is pumped because it’s “only 33 days til mom and dad come to get me and then 5 til I’m in the States!”
Then Mom’s trunky out of her mind about my flight information-which she received in an email from the chuch office.
(NO they didn’t e-mail it to me! They keep that thing quiet until a week or so before you go).
February is very far away, ok?
So stop it!
I also have a combined email of Sabrina, Stevi, Brooklyn and Stephy Jay going back and forth with one another about who’s pregnant and who refuses to be. Sabrina swears she’ll be last… even though, hello! Brooklyn and I aren’t even hitched yet! Anyway… it’s 5 pages long. I’ll have to print it off to read it later but I’m so excited. We are a novel and I love that I’m still included in the group. And that I’m off the hook to email them all back on account of I’m out servin the Lord.
Emily is in CHINA!
I feel so blessed! I have the greatest friends and the best family and I love thinking about all the good things in my life.
Back in my first transfer I’d kneel down at night to say a prayer before I fell asleep and the same thing would happen every time. I’d start at the beginning of the day and go through all the things we did so I could tell God thank you for all my favorite parts. It felt great. Then I’d get to the part where I ask for things I need. And the things our investigators need. And our members and less actives and my companions and my family and my friends and oh man… by the end I’d be so stressed with how much everyone needs!
So I started asking for all of that help in the morning.
At night, I just say thank you.
I try to recognize God’s hand in the things that happened that day and the help we received and the progress people are making. Sometimes during this process I realize blessings I hadn’t seen before. Then I thank Him for whatever else I love about my life and my family’s life and our investigators’ lives and our members and less actives and companions’ lives and by the time I’m ready for bed I feel so great.
I recommend this to all of my stressed out fellow men.
Some other updates:
I miss my Valenica people but I don’t wish I was still serving there. I know this change is exactly what I needed.
But… I know we’re here for specific people and purposes– and not just because it would feel good for me.
I don’t know what those purposes are and I’m not even sure who the people are either.
I still feel like I’m scrambling around every day.
This is good.
It keeps me busy and working.
Once we get in with a person and it’s about love and listening– I’m in my element.
The spirit works through us.
Until then: I’m a mess.
Trying to figure out the map and trying not to fall of my bike and trying to stop at red lights.
I’m not always good at that part.
The thing is, my last little bit in Valencia I realized I had become comfortable. I was still a good missionary doing good work but it wasn’t the same as before. I felt like my hardest working, most consecrated days were in the past.
I was disappointed.
I want to go home right inside of my hardest working and most consecrated days.
I want to leave with my glory days all around me– not behind me.
I knew I’d have to catch up to how hard I pushed myself before, and then surpass that point.
But I couldn’t figure out how to get there. There were so many people to teach and things to do that Valencia had become kind of easy. I knew the area, the people, the issues and the remedies.
God helped us to progress the area to that point and I wasn’t sure what else to do from there.
Probably because it was time for someone else to come and do the things I couldn’t do.
Someone with different talents and different perspective.
So I got transferred here!
There is tons to do here.
We don’t know anything or anyone and it’s ready to be worked to the bone.
Yes! This is just what I wanted!
And we’re doing it all on bike so there’s NO WAY we can go home at night without being exhausted.
So that’s where we’re at right now: Exhausted and trying to find where we’re meant to be and what we’re meant to do.
Until then: we go about doing good. Everywhere. We search for purpose.
We knock doors we help carry groceries we learn to fix sister mix’s flat tire we meet with the bishop we make an area book we still haven’t unpacked our stuff into the new apartment. We just go go go. And I think that’s the key. If we keep working and praying, we’ll find the specific people and purposes God has prepared for us. Until then, we do good things in a very broad and general sense. We make a difference.
I LOVE BEING A MISSIONARY!
I love being on bike.
I love riding past kids playing outside and waving.
I love how it smells when someone’s sprinklers are on.
I love how funny it is to be in a totally awkward doorstep conversation– pretending you have no idea how awkward it is… holding your helmet in your hands and knowing that we’ve got a refuge for these people.
I like the sound of our chains going round and round and feeling the night air on the way home.
I like that I don’t have time to sit in the driver’s seat and miss my friends or think about my issues too much.
Love you from the desert!