January 23, 2012
For a while now I’ve had a hard time about going home. I knew there are so many things to be excited about and I was excited, but mostly I was sad. BUT! I made a new goal on Saturday: Have an attitude of joy about going home. I wrote a plan in my journal of all the positive thoughts I could use to battle my sad thoughts. And I asked for a priesthood blessing and since then I’ve been doing much better.
I started going through my stuff today and have a pile to give away already! Be proud of me! I’m being a logical human about this and not letting my emotions rule my life!
Most of my letter today was responses to Mom but I think I have time to tell you a story from Stake Conference yesterday…
A member of the seventy, I think it was Elder Johnson, told a story about a woman who was shopping at an outlet store. I think it was his daughter…
She saw these beautiful wooden music boxes, hand carved on the outside and on the inside was a ballerina who twirled in front of a mirror while the music played. They were perfect and she knew her two daughters would love them at Christmas time. It was still a few months away but she decided to buy one for each of them. She stood for a moment debating which size to buy, and finally decided on two of the large boxes.
She was excited as she took her purchase to the register. She knew her daughters would cherish these boxes. But just before she got up to the counter, she remembered it was her neice’s birthday in a few weekends, and she would need to pick out a present for her. She quickly went back to the music boxes and picked out one of the small ones.
That night as she put her daughters to bed, she told them she’d brought home a present for their cousin’s birthday. They asked what it was and before she could finish explaining, the youngest burst into tears. She was about 3 years old. “But you can’t give her that!” she said. “That’s what I’ve always wanted!” She asked if she could see the box.
Her Mother showed it to her and she was distraught. It was so beautiful and it wasn’t for her. Her tears were sincere. She tried to pull herself together for a good half hour– but couldn’t seem to stop crying. This was all a little comical for her mother, who knew what was in store for her in only a month or so. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You never know, you might get a music box for Christmas or your birthday, maybe even a better one!”
“But this one is perfect,” she sobbed.
“It’s beautiful… there isn’t a better one…”
Elder Johnson explained that this is how it works when we battle for our will over God’s will. We are often distraught with our present circumstances, especially when we compare our lives to our friends and neighbors. But Heavenly Father has something in store for all of us, experiences and lessons and even gifts that he has specifically selected for us because he knows us and he knows what we need.
I know the principles in this story are real. I can already see how my experiences have built on one another perfectly. Before and during my mission, he has always sent me what I need, often times more that what I need, and in the best timing. Sometimes I wasn’t yet strong enough to hold all the gifts I was asking for, and he had to prepare me first. Overall, I feel like I’ve already received my music box. And I’m still so young! I can’t imagine all the things that must be in store for me, but I trust that they are still perfect.